It has been a tough week. It started off great, because it was a week scheduled filled with baby things and I love those weeks. John and I went to our first of three labor classes and we had a nice time together. It got me excited about the upcoming weeks and the moment when we meet our little one, especially since we were the furthest along among all the couples there.
Then Thursday I had a doctor's appointment. They were going to give me an ultrasound to check on baby's position and size. I was excited to learn more about her and hopefully get a confirmation on her sex. The day, however, brought bad news. The ultrasound tech. told me the baby was breech and she couldn't see the gender because of that. While I waited for the doctor, I was bummed about these two things, but still optimistic that things were ok. The doctor then told me that my little girl is measuring small. She is only 5lbs and is in the 9.9percentile. Anything 10% or under is considered low birth weight. The doctor said that she is concerned the baby is not getting what she needs from the placenta and we might need to deliver her early. Also, because she is breech, John and I have to decide whether to have a version (where the doctor flips her manually) or schedule a c-section.
Oh baby girl, I am so scared for you. I started crying in the office when the doctor told me this. I feel like I haven't given you what you need and I am so worried about your safety. Before this week, John and I were so peacefully happy and content with the pregnancy. Now, everything just seems up in the air. You could be fine (after all, ultrasounds can be off by 1lb up or down AND you are on the borderline for percentages- my doctor didn't seem to be TOO worried since you are so close to the cut off) but then again, there could be something wrong. And I can't stop worrying that you are not thriving and getting what you need. I've been a mess the last two days, but I'm trying to stay calm so that I don't upset you in there. I will be getting a more in-depth ultrasound at a different facility on Monday to gather more information about your size. Then John and I have to decide whether we will have the doctor try and turn you.
I'll be honest. I never envisioned a c-section as part of my delivery. Everything seemed to be going so well and I didn't really think it would part of our story. I really wanted that miraculous experience of birthing you and testing my own strength. But now, I don't care how you arrive, as long as you are healthy and strong. AND, this planner that you have for a mom has to really adjust to all these unknowns because you might even be coming early than we thought!! I just know these next few weeks are going to go by so slow. I am trying to stay positive and am loving you with all my heart, little one.
How Far Along: 36 Weeks as of October 5th
Size Of Baby: According
to baby center: Baby weighs about 6 pounds and is18 1/2 inches long, about the size of a head of romaine lettuce.
She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body
as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and
protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby
swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions,
resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents
of her first bowel movement.
HOWEVER, we know you are measuring small and are about 5lbs right now.
HOWEVER, we know you are measuring small and are about 5lbs right now.
Maternity Clothes: Since I am thrifty and my belly really isn't HUGE, I've just been wearing what I have. I can't wait to go shopping in a few months:)
Weight Gain: I'm up about 22 pounds. I used to be happy about that, but now I wonder if I need to be gaining more to make baby bigger. The doctor, however, says my weight gain has been good and right on track.
Weight Gain: I'm up about 22 pounds. I used to be happy about that, but now I wonder if I need to be gaining more to make baby bigger. The doctor, however, says my weight gain has been good and right on track.
Stretch Marks: No new ones. But, I did cut my belly while cutting up cheese and I also left a little burn mark on my belly when draining potatoes. I'm sorry little girl. John says you are well protected in there and should be fine. I will try to be more careful and conscious of my growing belly.
Sleep: It's been better this week. My back pain has subsided a bit. I still toss and turn every 1/2 hour from my hips hurting. Poor John.
Best Moment of the Week: It's been a tough week. Every moment up until the doctor's appointment seems like it was the best.
Movement: Baby moves every day. I'm really trying to pay attention to her movements and make sure they are consistent.
Cravings: Nothing new.
Gender: The ultrasound tech. couldn't confirm her sex because her butt was down, but I know she's still a girl.
Belly Button In or Out: Innie
Wedding Ring on or Off: Still on and I think it will stay on.
What I Miss: Not worrying about little one's safety every second of the day.
Labor Signs: No and I don't want them. I need her to stay in there and get stronger.
Nursery: We are at a standstill. We still need to put some things on the wall. We set her swing up though. It is so precious.
Symptoms: Back pain and constant worrying.
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